AsylumMom

Life on the inside. I've been sentenced 18 years to life and The Wardens are doing their best to drive me even crazier.

The Other Patient

As promised, today I will tell you more about my husband, “Dad”. So here it is:

The Only 5 Things You Need to Know About Dad

  1. He loves all things motorized. If it has a motor, says “vroom vroom” or looks like a smaller version of something with a motor, then he loves it. Period.
  2. He has a pretty freaking amazingly awesome red beard. That I love and won’t let him shave.
  3. He drinks more sweet tea than I do… which is a lot.
  4. He works hard so that The Wardens can afford to keep me here as their slave 24/7.
  5. He loves me and The Wardens more than anyone else ever could. I mean, he willingly comes home to this crazy house every day. That’s pretty awesome.

Enjoy this iPhone shot of him and his freaking amazingly awesome red beard.

Dad and his red beard

Now, today was only going to be about Dad but The Wardens presented me with an awesome impromptu photo session that I thoroughly enjoyed. These are the things they do to foster feelings of affection in me… today it worked. I am ashamed of myself. But not so much that I won’t share the photos with you!

B laying on Dad laying on the couch during his lunch break.

B laying on Dad laying on the couch during his lunch break.

Look at those lashes! I’m jealous…

B holding me down for a routine affection session

It worked.

You see that, Momma? That’s what we call “outside”. I know it seems like a distant memory, but fear not, summer is near and we will have an array of activities for you to accompany us on.

No! I will not hold still for the camera! You don’t own me! I own you.

I told you no! I will not stand for this.

This is the proper way to make a crazy face. Now practice!

These are what The Wardens use to torture Dad and myself. Colors and noises are key in their effectiveness.

Contemplating new forms of torture

A shape sorting device. It’s new and they have yet to discover how to use it against me.

Intense focus

See? We have broken toys here. They are still useful!

Awesome technique, B!

Put the shape in my mouth? Like this? Okay.

If we work together, we can figure this out.

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