A while back I had this wonderful idea that I wanted to do for some friends of my family. I was having one of those moments where I was really annoyed with someone because they were so insecure with themselves. And then I realized that I was annoyed with another persons insecurities. How tragic is that? I wanted to help her. She’s one off those women that even when you compliment her, she turns it into an insult. She absolutely cannot in any way accept anything positive about herself. That’s a very tough thought for me to take in!
Many women have issues with their image and are subject to this notion that we can’t be proud of our so called flaws without looking like a fool. Have you seen The Beautiful Body Project? This inspires me in so many ways. I’ve never been one to take part in self bashing, and when I slip up, I always feel sick about it. How on earth can this be healthy? I remember sitting around a table recently and every single woman there was exchanging flaws and self disgusts and diet “tricks”. Sounds like a bad movie but it was really happening!
But wait, there’s more.
I honestly hate when I try to encourage someone to do something and they say “No, you can because you’re skinny and pretty, but I’m too fat and ugly for that.” I always try to tell them they are wrong but this person can’t fathom the idea that they actually are pretty and therefor, nothing I say helps.
Where it gets really upsetting is the moment you hear “I don’t know why he even loves me, I’m too fat for love.”
Yes. I really heard that. Too fat for love. Those were the words that came out of her mouth.
That. Is. Heartbreaking.
After these events, I was laying in bed, letting my mind wander, when I thought, “They just need to see themselves the way their partner does.”
Slowly, I formed an idea. If you have image issues, please, take part in this exercise. If you don’t have image issues, take part anyway! It’s a healthy way to boost your self esteem!
All you need is a pen, some paper, and a partner. It can be anyone you love, trust, and respect. Whether this means your husband or boyfriend, or if you’re single, your mom or best friend or sister. Feel free to exchange and each do it but it was originally designed for a husband and wife duo to help the wife. So adjust it to your needs, the idea remains the same. 🙂
First, write down 5 things you hate about yourself. Easy, right?
Now write down 10 things you love about yourself. A little harder, but you can do it!
Next, have your partner write down 10 things they love about you. Then have them read their list to you.
Now, here’s where the magic happens. After hearing the wonderful ways your partner sees you, take the 5 things you originally said you hate about yourself, look at them in a new light, and turn them into something positive.
Now stand up and read your new list of 15 things you love about yourself.
You are SO beautiful, in so many ways. I only want you to be able to see it.
I made some printable pages you can use if you like, because who doesn’t love pretty printables!? 🙂 I hope this could help at least one person.
I had a friend, “M”, volunteer and test it for me, she opted to do an exchange with her best friend. They each took part in both sides and ended up with a wonderful new outlook on themselves! This is what she had to say about it:
“It was really hard for both of us to turn some of our dislikes into positives… Like my tummy and her nail biting. It was also hard to come up with 10 things we liked about ourselves. We almost gave up! But we finished and I guess it worked pretty well!” -M.
Thanks to M for volunteering in my exercise! Now, the rest if you, go do it and learn to love yourself just a little bit more!!
Here are the printables!